October 18th - The Break Between Courses

I have 5 days off before the next course starts and ever since I arrived, I've been trying to decide what to do ... actually hesitating might be the better word. Initially I decided to stay in Rajpur for a couple of days to experience Diwali and then head to Rishikesh. Rishikesh, an hour away, on the Ganga and been called the 'home' of yoga with many ashrams, yoga classes, teacher training – yoga wise, you name it, they have it. I also heard it was a good place to just hang out and relax. All seemed good, I even had a line on places to stay. But then, this hesitation was just lingering away in my gut – it was twofold – I'm so enjoying the personal sense of quiet that I've found in Rajpur, I don't want to lose it in a bigger city and two, I don't think I want to go on my own ... and if I'm honest, that's the bottomline. India and all of it's people, traffic and noise still intimidates me ... and so part of me says that that is then why I should go ... but two days before I was to go, I decided not to – and immediately, my gut felt right. It's the right decision for me right now.

So I stayed in Rajpur and hung out ... up, breakfast, internet, writing/ reading, practice in the afternoon, dinner, (cooked my own stir fry ... and it was good!) reading/ writing and bed. Perfect. I was missing either a little human connection or pop culture and so found a book in the room to read ... pure trashy Sydney Sheldon fiction ... made me think of my Grandmother ... I was done in 24 hours and will admit, as embarrassing as it might be, it hit the spot! And then I got serious ... I did actually – with my blog. I realized that I had a huge amount of work still to do on Africa, let alone India, and the time was rapidly passing. So I buckled down and got focused. I can be the queen of procrastination at times … it's an art form I've perfected ... However, I am also a pro and hitting the deadline, a little like a bulls eye dart shot ... really just in time ... but it is not necessarily a great way to work – to say the least. I know it is part of 'who I am' so I'm realistic about how much I'm really going to change ... but I would like to see if I can practice being a little more focused and productive. I tell you, not having wifi immediately to hand definitely helps. I'm also realizing that I will flip to something else when something is blocking me with what I'm trying to do in the minute ... so the challenge is knowing when I truly need space from the task versus just pushing through. I was halfway though Africa by the time the break ended – and it felt good.

I've thought many times this last week how very lucky I am to be able to stay for two courses – I am so not ready to leave yet. It took me time to settle in and I feel like I have been hitting my stride in the second half of the course – and just want to continue to ride this wave I'm on and see where it takes me. I'm enjoying it so much I've even has these crazy thoughts of could I stay and just be here for 6 to 8 months? It is a great place to write ...and that amount of time from a yoga perspective would truly be trans-formative ... realistically, no I couldn't ... and yet, if I really wanted to, yes I could – not the way I normally think about what I would normally consider 'way out there' possibilities ... feels like I am opening and expanding my mind about what really are the options and possibilities ... kinda cool.

The only downside of this time is that I am sad to see people leave – it's been a really good group – nice, fun, interesting people from all over – great energy in the room. The good news is that 12 of us staying on for the next course – and as they are lovely people who I really enjoy the company of, I'm grateful – it will be nice to have that basis of familiarity for the second course. Richard unfortunately, is not one of those staying – he is back to his family and real life in Israel – with a significant amount of shopping completed! He knows India so well and was prepared to take full advantage of it while here ... everything from clothes for his wife, books (very cheap) for his daughter and new jeans, glasses and a trip to the dentist for himself! The reality is that the economic comparison is good – I almost made it to the dentist but somehow couldn't bring myself to let that oh so most favored part of reality in to my happy place in Rajpur ... :-)